easter's not for crazy girls

my friend kollin and i can officially mark "getting bounced from a strip club for my religious beliefs" off of our life "to do" lists.
prior to easter sunday, our church was having a pretty strong push to invite people to easter sunday. we don't necessarily agree with the 2-sunday christians who only go on christmas and easter, but it is one of the most likely times someone will come that normally does not. and i guess our hope was just that they would hear the truth and their lives would be changed. because, well, that's what Jesus does.
but i think i need to back up a little for this story to make sense.
one sunday a month i meet a few friends at the house of an amazing family. they feed all of us, and it is always a glorious feast. kelly mcandrews is an amazing cook. there, is said it. anyway, when i drive there, and on my way back, i pass this strip club. and it is some strip club. i mean, this thing is huge. it looks like they started it in an old warehouse. it's got the tall, white sheet metal walls and steel framing that make you think it's full of vampires that are going to lock everybody in and kill them all in one massive blood orgy...so, yeah, it's big. and the name is the best part, "chicas locas."
every time i drive by this place the parking lot is full, and it makes me sad. it makes me sad for the guys going in there and it makes me sad for the women who work there. so i pray for it. every time i drive by i pray for everyone in the building.
well, the sunday before easter we had our dinner. and earlier that day we had our last "invite people" reminder. i had been inviting people near my neighborhood, or at least trying, but they all had plans. suburban white america already knows what they are doing on easter. and this time when i drove by the crazy girls, i thought "maybe they don't have easter plans." so i started praying about inviting the performers and patrons of chicas locas to easter sunday.
then friday came. that was the night chosen to do all the invitin'. me and my friend kollin (who i asked to come along with me as accountability and to take part in a good chance to share our faith) met at my house, talked, prayed and drove over there. honestly, it was a little weird. i have driven by plenty of strip clubs, but i have never pulled in to the parking lot of one. it just felt strange.
we chose a random parking spot, got out, and walked towards the front. we had to take a different path through the cars because there was a guy using the space between two trucks as a toilet. at the front were two guys who looked like they were waiting on someone, a tiny little bald cop in a booth, and a bouncer. the bouncer walked up and told us it was 5 dollars to park there. we told him we wanted to invite people to easter sunday. then he made me laugh.
without pause, he waved his hand in an arc encompassing the parking lot and said "we can't have any religious preferences here." and then we had to leave.
it was an interesting experience. and kinda scary. i didn't know what was going to happen, or how i would react to whatever did happen. but i trusted God. i don't know what He is going to do there, if anything. but i know that if He chooses to do something, it will not be stopped by a bouncer who prefers no religion.
(kollin thought it was funny that we couldn't pass out fliers in the parking lot, but that one guy could take a nice long piss there if he wanted. kollin was right. that was funny.)

party up in nyc

i'm going to new york. i'm going to new york and i don't care who knows it! oh, and boston.

for me to feel giddy requires something truly significant. it doesn't happen often, and it's hard to be repeated for the same cause. but not so with new york. often i find myself thinking about the place, and longing to be there as soon as possible.
and i'm gonna be there in a month! i plan to spend some time with a friend, possibly help out with some mission work my church does up there, and go all over that city with just me and a weeklong metro pass.
while i'm there, i want to think and pray a lot about the city. i really do feel a draw to it. i feel God may call me there some day, for permanents 'n' such. but i dont know. i may have to live somewhere else, and just be involved in prayer for new york. but i will definitely continue to visit!
after new york i'll go to boston, and after boston i'll come home, and after i come home i'll wish i was back in new york.

but dont worry friends, i love you too.

oh to grace how great a debtor

that’s a line from a song i like. come thou fount. it’s an old hymn, and an even older idea. the rest of it goes, “oh to grace how great a debtor, daily i’m constrained to be, let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee. prone to wander, Lord i feel it, prone to leave the God i love. here’s my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.”
that is the most wonderful thing i can think of. i have been dealing with this idea a lot lately. struggles with sin hit me every day. i often go to bed feeling like a failure, and wake up just the same. but God is amazing. at the same time in my life i have been hit from every angle with these thoughts, i have been hit from just about as many angles with the previously mentioned truth. “oh to grace how great a debtor, daily i’m constrained to be.” i am totally and completely in debt to God’s grace. my life is His. everything i have, even more, everything i am, is His. though i am “prone to wander”, my heart is sealed. nothing can remove me from His hand. nothing can change His love for me. He has chosen to freely give me grace, and mercy, and love. there is nothing i have done to get it, and nothing i can do to lose it.
and that is what i believe. that is the truth of my life. and that is what i am daily praying will drive me to do everything i do. i am not perfect, and i won’t be until i am in heaven, in His presence, but i am moving forward and trusting in Him, and His grace.