eddie's suffrage

we all recently witnessed the electing and swearing in of america’s first black president. this is an historic event (even though i know i made plenty of jokes about almost everything being an historic event because it happens in history, this one really is kind of a big deal). sadly though, i was not allowed to take part.
upon attemtping to vote, i discovered that i was currently not registered in any county in texas, or anywhere else. this makes casting a ballot for stephen colbert rather difficult. with the time i have had, vacations and little importance at work, i have thought through some of the possible reasons for this difficult time in my life history:

1. the government heard i was voting for stephen colbert, and they wanted to prevent idiots from taking part in politics
2. an insane group of republican radicals discovered that my alternate plan, were i to come across a ballot that would not allow a write in vote, was to vote a strait libertarian ticket
3. i didn’t think about changing my voters registration when i changed the address on my driver’s license (in other words, i’m an idiot)
4. i have been identified as my own minority group and the government has not seen fit to grant me the right to vote

so if any of these reasons anger you as much as they do me, take up the cause of eddie’s suffrage!